Cool Kids Go To Vegas!
by Joanie Dark
Summary: YET ANOTHER silly Homestuck fan adventure, in which the kids somehow found themselves listening to Roxy, booking a block of hotel rooms, and hitting the casinos with fake IDs.  SEE COOLKIDSGOTOVEGAS ON TUMBLR FOR BETTER FORMATTING AND PICTURES.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is ROXY LALONDE and you are "fukign stoked" that your friends went along with your HORRIBLE PLAN.

You somehow talked them into going to LAS VEGAS and getting their INSANE BOOGIE ON.

Between the sometimes boring seriousness of your BESTIES, the kids who were actually your ANCESTORS, and the weird group of ALIENS, it's amazing that any of them would listen to your party-girl suggestion. Of course, now you have NINETEEN IMMATURE TEENAGERS under your watchful drunken eye, none of them particularly adept at the art of passing off the FAKE ID.

Ah, as if you couldn't handle that!

What do you do?

* * *

><p>((And this is where the reader comes in! Feel free to submit commands, and who knows? They might be picked!))<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

== Shit on the bedsheets to make the room service go through hell. ==

What, just because you like a little alcohol in your system you should act like a depraved animal?

You may not care about the help that much, but that's _obscene._


	3. Chapter 3

== Get wee fuds together and drink some Bucky ==

Aww yeah, now that's a lot more like it!

But where the hell are your roommates anyway? Jane, Rose, and Jade are nowhere to be seen…

* * *

><p>((I hadn't mentioned, but I'm also taking commands on AO3, Tumblr, and the MSPA forums, so there may be some unrecognized commands coming up!))<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Roxy: Call up Janey**

Hmm. It looks like Jane actually messaged! You should probably call your dear BFFsie back. Maybe she knows what's up.

* * *

><p><strong>Roxy: Call up Janey<strong>

TG: jane where the fuq are yuo  
>TG: *you<br>GG: There's no reason for you to have typos on a cellphone, Roxy!  
>TG: yeah whatevs<br>TG: finally get us all together and its still a party of one  
>GG: I don't know where Jade and Rose are, sorry<br>GG: But I'm really busy right now!  
>TG: are you foollowin dirk an jake around<br>GG: ...  
>TG: look i kno he's hawt and all but hes not gonna break up wit strider ok<br>GG: Look, I'll talk later, Ro-Lal.

And then she hung up. How rude.

* * *

><p><strong>Roxy: Go find some rich guy to murder!<strong>

You can't do that because you're suddenly too busy being Jane.

Who, as it so happens, is currently stalking some rich guy and his boyfriend, for purposes that are most likely NOT murder.

Most likely.


	5. Chapter 5

**Jane: put on TAD**

Oh, but would you be stalking anyone without a totally awesome disguise? That's just silly.

Still though, maybe you should get better camouflage than your silly Inspector getup and a pillar...

* * *

><p><strong>Rich guy &amp; Boyfriend: Fail to fail to notice Jane.<strong>

You are now Dirk and Jake.

Jane? Isn't she with Roxy or something? You thought the girls were off doing...girl...things.

Besides, you don't have time to notice her, lovely lass though she may be. You're waiting for the other coolkid-nerdboy couple to show up.

Well, not a couple. Jane's sorta-grandpa still says he's not a homosexual.

* * *

><p><strong>Jane: Don harlequin dress<strong>

You feel quite silly. You're in Caesars Palace, not Harrah's.

But it's probably better than if you dressed up as a centurion, you suppose. You might be dragged off to work!


	6. Chapter 6

**Jane: Be the other coolkid-nerdboy couple**

And just when you thought you were going to play through being the harlequin extrordanaire, you become these two kids.

Damn, that's a cool fountain.

* * *

><p><strong>Dave and John: Be late due to sloppy makeouts<strong>

What? No.

You're not homosexuals.

Besides, you're late enough as it is. You have to go inside to meet the other two.

* * *

><p><strong>Dave: Be sad that Dirk got his man and you are heavy jelly that you didn't.<strong>

It is indeed such a shame.

You seek the irony in it, but you can't see any. Your brother/dad/son/thing just seems to be the better man.

So sad.

* * *

><p>Then you remember that you have a shitton of troll bitches all up on your swag.<p>

Shit, you're the better pimp.


	7. Chapter 7

****Jane: be the Ninja. Become the pillar.****

Easier said than do-

Oh look! You did it!

* * *

><p><strong>Jane: Look at your life, look at your choices.<strong>

Really, why are you doing this anyway? You're the Maid of Life, the heir of a huge corporation, and a fabulous young lady by yourself to boot! You're in Las Vegas, why are you pining over some guy instead of having fun?

You're a stupid beeeetch.

* * *

><p><strong>Jane: be abducted by some of the trolls<strong>

Wait, be abducted? Why would you want to be...

OH!


End file.
